Readers: Submit questions for Mid-Metro Gazette advice specialists to director@midmetroacademy.com. We’ll assign your question to one or two of our opinionated authors. In the tradition of renowned advice columnists, our editors may display a bit of snark in their answers. Don’t be offended! We all need a little “tough love” sometimes!
Dear Gazette, My sophisticated cousin is coming to visit me this summer. She lives in New York City. Last summer she went to Paris. Where can I take her in the Twin Cities that will show her we’re not just backwoods hicks?
Signed: Country Cousin
Dear Cuz:
Forget trying to impress her with big city glamour. Take her to one of the countless lakes in the area. Clearly your cousin spends too much time in the city and needs some fresh air. She may actually realize that you can find beauty in the simplest things in life without having the Eiffel Tower or the Empire State Building outside your window. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 1
Dear Cuz:
I think you are looking at the situation from entirely the wrong viewpoint. Does your “sophisticated” cousin look down on you so harshly that you find it necessary to impress her? Or are you simply overly concerned? In the second case, that’s a “you” thing, and it’s hopeless. In the first case, if your cousin looks down upon you, I suggest that perhaps you shouldn’t spend any time with her at all. Of course, you can’t very well tell her she can’t visit you now, but you can purposely take her to the very worst places and hope she won’t have any desire to visit you again in the future. If this seems too complicated, you could simply show her everything you would be interested in as an excuse to have some fun yourself. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 2
Dear Gazette, All my friends are ecstatic that school’s almost out, but I’m dreading summer vacation. Is that weird? I’m bored out of my mind during those long summer months. What can I do to make life more enjoyable until school starts again?
Signed: Thumb Twiddler
Dear Twiddler,
It is not weird at all to dread summer vacation. Summer days are long and hot and it feels like the sun is trying to give you an idea of what your birthday cake felt like in the oven. Try finding a job. You’ll keep busy while making some extra bucks! Sincerely, Gazette Editor 1
Dear Twiddler,
It is not “weird” to dread the summer. Most people don’t have the gumption to think up something sensible to do, and you’re no different. Consider taking a critical thinking course over the summer, and hopefully that will help you learn problem solving and give you some more original ideas. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 2
Dear Gazette, My parents keep asking me what classes I want to take at MMA next year. My problem is that I want to take more classes than I can fit into my schedule. They all look so fascinating. Can you pick one or two classes for me that I absolutely shouldn’t miss?
Signed, Want Them All
Dear Wannemall,
You should definitely take one of Mrs. Hope’s writing classes. You have no idea how much it will help with your grammar, punctuation, and overall writing skills. You need to be a good writer no matter where you end up in life. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 1
Dear Wannemall,
I have no idea. I don’t know who you are, and I can’t give any truly helpful class advice if I don’t know anything about your ambitions and personality. All I can say is: after you’ve checked all the necessary boxes make sure you leave some room for fun. Maybe see which classes your friends are taking. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 2
Dear Gazette, I hate rainy days. When I’m stuck inside, I’m depressed and cranky. What can I do when the sun doesn’t shine, and I can’t leave the house? Signed Sunshine Lover
Dear Sunshine,
Unfortunately, the weather can’t always be the way you like it. But it’s up to you to decide how you feel. Even if you are stuck inside, there are tons of things to keep you busy. Being happy is a choice, and you can choose to look for something you enjoy doing that can be done indoors. Invite friends over! Have a karaoke party! Watch a movie! The options are endless; you just have to think a little. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 1
Dear Sunshine,
Do you simply assume that just because it is raining, you cannot go outside? Studies have shown that is invaluable to play in the dirt (i.e., if you go outside in the rain, you could get muddy) and even if you prefer yourself tidy, bring an umbrella and go for a walk. Or don’t you have any hobbies? Can you read? I’m a little concerned about you. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 2
Dear Gazette, My mom says I have to read five books over the summer. I admit, I’m not a voracious reader. Any recommendations? Signed, No Appetite
Dear NoApp,
I can definitely relate to that! The first option is convincing your mom that school textbooks count as books. This way you can learn about a subject in detail, and everyone will be so impressed by your knowledge when school starts again. Plus, textbooks feel easier to read because at least you’re learning something instead of reading about a random person’s life. If that doesn’t work, however, I’d recommend going to the bookstore and picking five books that are a little less boring than the others, depending on what you are interested in. Then you should finish them all right away so you can enjoy the rest of your summer. Good luck! Gazette Editor 1
Dear NoApp,
From the tone of your letter, it sounds as though you know it’s undesirable to have an aversion to books. This aversion might be because you have never encountered true literature. If, indeed, you have not, then I can’t blame you for your distaste. Most modern literature that is promoted in bookstores and libraries is not literature at all, but a confused mess of uncompelling storylines, and deplorable use of logic and the English language. Find some books or book series that would be considered “classics”, and you might come across something appealing, both to your common sense and enjoyment. Sincerely, Gazette Editor 2